Welcome Back! It's that time of the year again, so I've started out with something to make your day.
HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TEACHER?
by Jeff Foxworthy
1. You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line.
2. You get a secret thrill out of laminating something.
3. You walk into a store and hear the words "It's Ms/Mr._________" and know you have been spotted.
4. You have 25 people that accidentally call you Mom/Dad at one time or another.
5. You can eat a multi-course meal in under twenty-five minutes.
6. You've trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of the day: lunch and prep
period.
7. You start saving other people's trash, because most likely, you can use that toilet paper tube or
plastic butter tub for something in the classroom.
8. You believe the teachers' lounge should be equipped with a margarita machine.
9. You want to slap the next person who says "Must be nice to work 7 to 3 and have summers off."
10. You believe chocolate is a food group.
11. You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
12. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."
13. You feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when you are out in public.
14. You believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin.
15. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
16. You spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
17. You can't pass the school supply aisle without getting at least five items!
18. You ask your friends if the left hand turn he made was a "good choice or a bad choice."
19. You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils
20. You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer and finally,
21. You understand instantaneously why a child behaves a certain way after meeting his or her parents.
FREE Printable Stickers
Teachers, I know you are always looking for those FREE links, so here are some really great ones. How many times have you wanted to give out stickers but your supply had run dry? As long as you have blank labels you will be able to print from these sites. Good Luck!
Family Fun
Kid Printables
Pastiche Family Portal
Stickers and Charts
You Might Be a School Employee If.....
I know this doesn't qualify as a tech tip, but it was so funny I had to share it with my fellow teachers:
YOU MIGHT BE A SCHOOL EMPLOYEE IF..
...you believe the playground should be equipped with Ritalin salt lick
...you want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to work 8 to 3:30 and have summers off"
...it is difficult to name your own child because there's no name you can come up with that doesn't bring high blood pressure as it
is uttered
...you can tell it's a full moon or if it going to rain, snow, hail....anything!!! Without ever looking outside
...you believe, "shallow gene pool" should have its own box on a report card
...you believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."
...when out in public, you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior
...you have no social life between August and June
...you laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the "lounge."
...you encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling and are willing to donate the UHAUL boxes
should they decided to move out of district
...you think caffeine should be available in intravenous form
...you can't imaging how the ACLU could think that covering your students chair with Velcro and then requiring uniforms made out of
the corresponding Velcro could ever be misunderstood by the public
...meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question, "Why is this kid like this?"
...you think someone should invent antibacterial pencils and crayons...and desks and chairs for that matter!!!
...the words "I have college debt for this?" has ever come out of your mouth
.... you know how many days, minutes, and seconds are left in the school year !
The Best on the Web for Teachers
Metasearch Engines and Directories
The amount of information on the Internet can blow your mind. As teachers we are always taking work home, so I've come up with a page of metasearch engines and directories to assist you in your research. If you'd like me to add any engines or directories to the webpage, feel free to drop me an email.
Hanukkah and Kwanzaa: The Other Two Holidays in December
Christmas is the holiday in December which we hear the most about. But let's not forget that there are two other holidays, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa, which are celebrated as well. Here is a list of resources for both those holidays, including coloring pages, worksheets, recipes and games.
The amount of information on the Internet can blow your mind. As teachers we are always taking work home, so I've come up with a page of metasearch engines and directories to assist you in your research. If you'd like me to add any engines or directories to the webpage, feel free to drop me an email.
